Holidays are a time filled with memories and stories we tell ourselves about the way things should be. We see images all around us of families gathered around the dinner table sharing food and laughter.
Yet holidays can feel, stressed, sad and isolated. Years ago after my daughter died, that first Christmas it felt so unnatural to celebrate the holiday. There was nothing about the holiday season I was looking forward to. I was still searching for answers to questions like, “why did this happen,” or “when will I feel normal,” and “will I ever laugh again.”
As the years passed and holidays have come and gone, it’s those first years after my daughter died, and the struggles that they brought that have helped me today appreciate and love the holiday season.
It’s those lessons that have taught me to take control of my time and to prioritize my holiday to include the things that are valuable to me and let go of other things that society says is part of the holiday season.
The truth is we all bring our past experiences to the holiday season with our expectations of how things should be, or should have been.
Whether our experiences bring us to memories of loved ones who have passed or other past experiences and memories it’s our interpretation of these memories we are bringing forward into our lives today they can either help us to create and have the holiday we want or it can take us to the past hurts and regrets.
In each of us is the ability to create the holiday season we desire and enjoy the holidays.
Think about this question, “what do I really love about the holiday season?”
If you had asked me that the first year after my daughter died, my answers would have revolved around her being part of our holiday and what was no longer possible. I was stuck looking at the past. I didn’t understand I could create a future that would be filled with new joy and that I could enjoy the holidays.
While there is no going back in time and reversing it, there is something we can all do that is of’ benefit, it’s going a little deeper to answer the question.
Today my answer would be, “to understand her purpose in life and to have a holiday filled with love and joy.”
Your answer may be completely different, maybe it’s to have less stress or to find forgiveness. Whatever your answer is, your solution is also within you.
Every one of us, regardless of our past, can choose to learn from the past and to create more from the experience, not only during the holidays but also throughout our life.
Change is constant for us all but how we look at our life and our experiences is our personal choice. To take the change and use our time as a chance for personal growth, to find the love and joy in the changes that happen to us, that is a choice.
The choice to grow, to love, and to give by sharing your experiences with others is yours.
If you would like to discover more about moving forward in your life put your name and email in at the top of this page and we will send you a complimentary Journal Of Discovery to help you reveal how your past can be the very catalyst that moves you forward in life and how you too can live your life without limits.
To Your Life Without Limits,
Elena & Jean
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