Category Archives: Women’s Lifestyle

how to improve friendships

How to Improve Your Friendships

By | Women's Lifestyle | One Comment

how to improve friendshipsLet’s be honest ::: as you get older friends tend to take the back seat as family, work and other responsibilities rise to the top of your priorities.

It’s easier to cancel on a shopping trip with a friend then it is to skip your child’s school play or ignore the oil change light on your car. And the ramifications of canceling on a friend are a lot less dramatic then skipping the play or ignoring the warning sign in your car – most of the time all that happens is you’ll see each other less.

Most likely the friendship won’t be ruined and feelings won’t be hurt; however, friendships aren’t indestructible and it’s easy to keep canceling… Rescheduling to another week. Pushing girls night out back and back and back until it doesn’t ever happen.

Truthfully, there were many years where I practically ignored all of my friends.

They weren’t even put on the back burner – they were completely tossed aside. It wasn’t until I realized that I honestly missed them that I knew I had to do something about it.

See, we all need friends. We can’t rely on our boyfriends/husbands and family members to be the only people there for us. We all need friends for support, understanding, new perspective and love.

In fact, having friendships can help you strengthen your other relationships, improve your outlook on life and feel more confident, supported and motivated. I’ll even bet that if you dedicate time and energy to friendships all of the other areas of your life will improve. 

Yes it takes time and energy to improve your friendships!

5 ways to improve relationships with your friends:


1. Make dates and actually keep them

Don’t cancel this time. Take it seriously. Write it in pen in your planner. Consider this time as sacred and valuable and show up. Yes, I know it’s easier said then done, and I understand if a crisis comes up, but make your friendship dates a priority in your mind and your life and you’re more likely to keep them that way.

If you tend to cancel all the time try scheduling the date farther in advance.

2. Be Totally Present

Then when you get there, really, truly, completely be present. Give your friends the attention they deserve. Listen to their stories, their feelings, their stories. Hold this space for you and your friends to connect on a deep level ::: so put your phones away, let go of your to do list and just give them all of you.

3. Have Quick Check-ins

Now-a-days there are so many ways to connect with friends so don’t rely on face to face meet-ups to stay connected. Instead, email, text, call, Facebook or even snail mail them in between your dates!

It’s a great way to let them know that you’re thinking of them and that you value your connection.

4. Be thoughtful

Is one of your friends having a rough time? Bring them a little care package of goodies. Is someone else going through a career change or divorce?

Make sure they know you’re there for them – call, text, email just to say that you’re there for them if they need anything. Doing little things like sending them a card or bringing them flowers lets them know that you’re thinking of them and they’re important to you. Oh, and…

5. Really Be There

If you say you’re around for support and help be sure to show up. Don’t flake out when they need you. Be the shoulder they can lean on, the person they can count on through the good times and the bad. Not only will they do the same for you but it’ll feel good to help those that you love.

While these guidelines can help I know that friendships can be complicated; so, I surveyed my readers for their biggest challenges in keeping friendships strong. Here were a few of their concerns:

But Erin, I have trouble even just scheduling a date – our calendars just don’t match up!

If you struggle finding a time and date that works try combining your friendly meet-up with something you already have to do. Like, go food shopping together, run errands together one afternoon, go to the salon together, or even better work out together. That way you’re spending time with your friend but getting stuff done at the same time.

This is all great but my best friend lives on the other side of the country – how can we connect?

For those friendships that are separated by miles and miles of distance (rather than just busy schedules and to do lists) here are a couple ways to help stay connected: Skype/phone call coffee dates, snail mail/emails, yearly visits or meet somewhere in between. Say your best friend is in CA and you’re in Boston – meet in Chicago (pretty cheap airline tickets) and have a girlfriend’s weekend! Or you can both bring your families and spend some time with everyone together in one place.

Our differences are making it hard to really connect – we have completely different lives…

This is a lot harder to address in this post but my instinct is to say that sometimes you need to give each other space to grow. Giving your friendship a small break (or long one) can actually allow the connection to grow deeper and stronger. Sometimes not. Sometimes it’s best to allow yourselves to grow apart and find new friends. Listen to your intuition to tell you whether it’s a good time to take a step back, take a total break, or try to make it work.

Bottom line: Get creative with your meet-ups and really focus on connecting when you are together. 

Share your ideas on how you keep your friendships strong! 


P.S. Feel free to share this post with your family and friends in fact we love it when you do!


undefinedErin is known for her radiant energy, bright smile and willingness to get real.

As a writer, life coach and Reiki Guide Erin is dedicated to supporting people in their journey to find clarity, direction and happiness. After moving past her own barriers to happiness she knew that she could help others though the same mindful yet bold approach she used to create a joyful, engaging life. Just recently she launched a video series: Creating Careers of Purpose that runs every Friday.

She believes in the importance of community, connection, compassion, and a good cup of coffee. 

Connect with her at Creative Soul in, through Twitter, and Facebook.

Share This...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Pin on Pinterest
self love


By | Fashion & Style, Personal Growth | 9 Comments

self love

Valentine’s Day is peering around the corner, but tell tale seeds of this “holiday” began sprouting immediately after the Christmas decorations were removed from their 75% off racks. The requisite hearts and flowers are found sprinkled throughout drugstores, grocery stores, retail outlets, even gas stations.

But what does this day really mean? To YOU?

Perhaps you love to present friends and loved ones, or a significant other, with treats, cards and thoughtful gifts. Or maybe you just ignore it and think February 14th is a Hallmark creation and just don’t care.

Whatever category you fit into, the 14th of February is a good time to look at LOVE.

WE can’t ignore the signs, so why not take some time to reflect. And who better to shower with hearts and flowers than the person you should love the most – YOU!  How to Fall in love with YOU?

I think we have all heard a million times, that you can’t love anyone else until you really, truly love yourself.

That is the ultimate gift we have to give ourselves. And sometimes this is very, very, very difficult to do. We look in the mirror, and instead of seeing our authentic selves, we see flaws. Our nose is crooked, our crow’s feet have turned into ostrich feet, our tummies pooch, our thighs jiggle. These are our perceived flaws, but not what makes us the unique authentic individual that shows up to our friends.

I do take the stand that image is important and what the outside world sees should reflect the inner you. I truly believe that is important. If you take pride in your appearance, you are saying to those with whom you come in contact, “I care about me, and that means that I will care about you.”

I am speaking here in terms of being clean, and pulled together, no matter what your personal style. However, the true you, the one that is only enhanced by clothing, accessories, hair color and nail polish, should shine through no matter what you are wearing. That is the YOU that needs pampering and polishing and should be handled with loving- kindness. If you treat yourself with respect and love, others will treat you the same way. Kind of like the golden rule, only let’s call it the Ruby Rule. View and treat yourself as you wish others to view and treat you.

If you take time for a bit of pampering and self-appreciation you are showing yourself that you truly do care about YOU. That self love is important to you.

I suggest finding one quality about yourself that you think is great. Or put on a garment, necklace, pair of shoes, scarf  – an item that makes you feel fabulous. Then take a look in the mirror and say WOW! I love my long legs or this dress makes me feel elegant, spirited, fanciful, (insert only positive adjectives!). Those shoes ROCK my world, I feel like I can conquer the skies in this scarf while I channel Amelia Earhart.

It is my belief that we absolutely do not take enough time to love ourselves. We are unduly harsh. We would not look at our friends and say ugh, you have such stringy hair, or your booty really needs a good work out. So why on earth would we say that to our self. If indeed the greatest goal and lesson on earth is to love everyone.

Now, in case you are wondering, I have had to do this time and again and it’s all about my hair.

A quick personal story. I was born with uber curly hair, kinky, dry , frizzy strangely blonde hair. It was the bane of my existence as a young child and teenager. At age 9 I had huge poofy pigtails and the cutest boy in 4th grade took it upon himself to put a grasshopper in one of my high piggies. And that grasshopper got stuck in my lovely locks. As I screamed for a teacher, the kids laughed and thought it was the funniest thing ever. Stayed with me until this day. At 16 at a pool party, a big garbage can full of sodas and ice was tipped over and the cute teenage host said, “It’s ok, let’s just turn Kim upside down an use her as a mop”.  Hmmm…..again stayed with me forever.

As I grew into my 20’s, I learned,( sort of), to love my hair. Now, age and hormones coupled with child birth, have since tamed my locks and blowdryers and round brushes work miracles. BUT I can now say I absolutely LOVE my hair. I have worked very hard to dispel the beliefs which were engrained in my psyche at a young age. Loving yourself really does work.


SO BEGIN WITH numero uno.  YOU. Here is a self love exercise.  I know for a fact that if you look in the mirror at least once a day and say something positive to yourself – you will begin to feel the love – that’s how I came to love my beautiful hair. When you feel the love, you can give the love and in turn you can receive the love.

We also need to gift ourselves with treats and presents along with our daily positive words. Weekly or monthly treat yourself to something just for you. It needn’t cost a lot of money. You can take 15 minutes to soak in a tub or take a trip to the library and sit down for 15 minutes to read a magazine. Even meditating is a gift to our selves. I know how difficult it can be to do these things, as I tend to lean toward the hyper side on the activity scale.

It really works to spend time and energy into nourishing you. Purchase a magazine and actually sit down and read it (we all need a little Hollywood banter now and again, so it’s ok, I give you permission to pluck US, or PEOPLE off of the checkout stand). I don’t buy into people’s excuses when they say they don’t have ten minutes to spare.

MAKE the time!

It has been proven that it takes 21 days to change a pattern or behavior. Try loving yourself for 21 days. Put a heart sticker on a calendar or sheet of paper for 21 days each time you give a positive affirmation to YOU!

Keep this up and the love will flow from person to person, continent to continent….it all begins with falling in love with YOU!


P.S. We would love to hear how you create your self love. Leave us a comment below and share with us your thoughts.

Share This...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Pin on Pinterest
Holly Rigsby MB Push Up

Getting Results

By | Women's Health, Women's Lifestyle | 4 Comments

At the start of the New Year there is renewed Motivation with the hopes that THIS will be “YOUR Year”! The year you finally get back in shape, lose some weight, take better care of yourself finally feel good about yourself again.

Unfortunately, by the end of January only 60% are still maintaining the commitment made. Read More

Share This...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Pin on Pinterest
new year new you


By | Fashion & Style, Women's Lifestyle | 3 Comments

new year new youIt’s a New Year, it’s a New You, it’s a New everything, Or is it?  It’s that time of year when everyone heads to the gym to begin their new regimen.

The airwaves are filled with commercials touting the latest in weight loss promotions from all the usual suspects. It’s enough to make anyone want to throw out the butter and sugar even if they don’t have a pound to lose. (Not that ridding your shelves of those items is a bad thing!)

But I’m not your weight loss guru, or your exercise trainer, I’m simply a girl (ok, woman) who loves fashion and beauty and wants everyone to feel great about themselves regardless of weight, size or even hair color!

And since it’s a New Year – it’s time to take stock of who we were last year and who we want to be this year and what better way to do it than by enhancing our image and putting our best selves out there for the world to admire.


Yes, the temperature across most of the country hovers in the “Oh so cold” zone, even here in Northern California, and yet magazines and stores are prompting us to buy, buy, buy – those adorable salmon colored shorts with the bright green t shirt.

You know, for our upcoming “cruise”. The resort wear has hit the shelves.

Really – even Target has its bathing suits blaringly displayed as you enter the store. (I went to search for toasty ski clothes, but nooooo).

Not to be disrespectful to those of you gathering your string bikinis and crocheted cover-ups as you plan for your winter getaway, but let’s be real. As tempted as I am by the really fun, bright colors in the stores, I know that in a few short months, when it is still cold outside, all those items will be on sale!

So, I’m here to propose something. Should you get the urge, in between paying bills and cleaning up the holiday messes, to head to your nearest store to purchase a little something to cheer you up – DON’T DO IT!

Instead, head for your closet. That’s right, the very same closet into which you peer and say, “Oh, but I have nothing fun to wear!”.

Just so you know, I tried this experiment, because I didn’t want to propose something I hadn’t attempted myself. Go into that closet, or wardrobe, or chest of drawers and find the brightest, most spring-like item you can.

FYI, I discovered an old turquoise cashmere sweater that I thought I had gotten rid of. Perfect color to inject some spring into my January wardrobe.

The style is a bit outdated, but hey it’s cashmere and a beautiful color and well….you know. I paired it with a white t-shirt (good year round item) and a scarf of many colors. The scarf is a wintery scarf in cotton, with dark navy and black, purple and a hint of turquoise.

It was just what I needed to make me feel peppy and pretty in the freezing cold. A burst of Spring without spending a cent, and meanwhile I found a few items to donate while in the midst of “shopping” my closet. Please know that I am not suggesting you break out the white shorts with black tights (for warmth).

All I’m hinting at, is that if you search through your existing clothes, you WILL unearth a treasure or two that you can start wearing now to make yourself feel oh so cheery.

new year, new you



I think I’ve mentioned this one or twenty times, but DONATE and clear that clutter. Get a start on Spring Cleaning now. SO when the sales come around in March and April (of all the resort wear in the stores now), you will know what you want/need to update your wardrobe.

I truly believe that when you donate items you really know you will never wear again, you are not only clearing the clutter literally, you are making an opening for other things, material or not, to come into your life.

It’s a great way to start Your New Year, New You, Life Without Limits!

Just as you would take a deep cleansing breath in yoga, in order to make space for new fresh air to enter and cleanse your body, when you rid your closet of the items merely taking up space, you are declaring that I no longer need you, but that which I do need and desire will come into my life.


Now is the time to hit the sales for items such as Cashmere anything. Retailers want to clear their own clutter in order to make even more space for the resort wear and spring merchandise lurking in the stock rooms.

It is also a great time to check out boots. If you are fortunate enough to find a pair in your size – there are still at least three months this season to look adorable in a pair of boots, short or tall. Boots can make your outfit rock!  You can wear them well into spring with a short or long skirts, no tights required in warmer weather. They really dress up a simple pair of leggings or work out bottoms, if you just throw on a longer sweater or shirt.



And, my motto for the New Year – yup….Go Forth and Be Cute!  I am over the age where people call me cute, but I still like to wear cute clothes and I just LOVE the saying.

So, I challenge all of you who want to take your life to the limit – to take a look at YOU in 2013.

What do you want others to see when they meet you?

Put on some color, apply some bright lipstick, do what feels right to you, but do something to enhance your life and show up!

Really and truly SHOW UP in 2013!

While you work on your new year, new you life without limits, make your appearance count. GO FORTH AND BE CUTE!


To Your New Year New You,


Share This...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Pin on Pinterest

7 Holiday Survival Tips For Busy Women

By | Women's Health, Women's Lifestyle | 2 Comments

7 holiday survival tips

Worried About Getting Through The Holidays?

“What is your biggest fitness challenge during the holiday season?”

You shared ~ I Listened!

After browsing through more than 500 responses submitted for this survey question, I made a list of the most common challenges and created a list of 7 holiday survival tips to help busy moms and busy women successfully navigate this holiday season to stay on track with their body shaping and fitness goals. Read More

Share This...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Pin on Pinterest